Monday, November 8, 2010
I'm a dull person. I am also lazy. I've never had real dreams or aspirations to do anything great or significant. I have only ever wanted to get a decent paying but not too strenuous job and live comfortably for the rest of my life. Even this is only because it is what society has taught me that I should want at the very least.
I'm not very interested in matrimony and I'm pretty sure I'm going to adopt if I choose to have children. There really has been nothing that I have ever wanted so badly that I *knew* I would do whatever it took to get it.
I have a dream now. It is December 28, 2010. In my mind, I see myself wearing sleek Doc Marten's with pitch black True Religion skinny jeans. There will be no protruding thighs and my legs will be two straight parallel lines. In fact, the gap between them will be so large that I will not be able to get them to touch no matter how I try.
My hip bones will peek out over the top of these jeans and lead up to a perfectly flat stomach. I imagine I will likely be wearing my Mango leather jacket due to the weather and thus my upper body will be hidden from view. However, I will feel the proof of my thinness and I will be satisfied.
Before I blow out my 20 candles I know there will be many things that I will want to wish for.
Being thin will not be one of them.
It is my mother's birthday on Thursday but our family will be celebrating it today since everyone will be available. Any celebration in my family means dinner and so we are going out to a popular Korean restaurant.
Thus, I will not be eating today except for this dinner.
At dinner, I will not eat rice, noodles or anything carbohydrate-based and instead focus on protein's, while of course eliminating any signs of fat. I will avoid any oils and sauces. I will cut my food into small pieces and chew thoroughly. I will eat so slowly that I will be the last to finish my meal, even behind my grandmother with bad teeth and my sister who is notorious for being a picky eater.
It is ok to feel full, as long as this meal is the only one I have in the entire day. That's all there is to it.
I'm back :)
Posted by not.quite.ana at 6:00 AM