I haven't given up on my UGW.

I went to True Religion to try on their jeans and I am so close to fitting into a Size 23.

I just need to lose... +8 lbs.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do. I can't say that I've figured much of anything out.

BUT. The only thing I can definitively declare is that I am going to reach 95 lbs before I turn 20 years old.

Please, please God, help me accomplish my goal. There are many things that I do not know about this world but I do know that I will not be able to handle entering the 3rd decade of my life with all this fat that is hanging off my body.

I need to be renewed. I NEED to feel pure, light, empty.

For once, even if only for a little while, I need to look in the mirror and believe that I am thin and beautiful.

Perhaps I will not be any happier then. Perhaps I will realize that it was all for naught. Perhaps nothing will change.

But right now, this is all I have. This is my only hope. This is what I've decided to place all my bets on and I'm going to give everything I have to win the jackpot.

Midnight tonight will mark the start of 50 days to my birthday on December 28th.

I will do it.

Wish me luck.