Friday, October 15, 2010
Ok, I've been thinking about it all day and I don't think I can stand doing another week of 1357. It's just too slow and I NEED to reach my UGW (or lower!) by my birthday which is 2 1/2 months away. 10 weeks left. Maybe I should do a countdown for motivation?
When I come back tomorrow night I'll do my grocery shopping so that I can start my fast Sunday morning. Personally, a fast for me means only water + tea, absolutely no food or drink with ANY calories. This will be good. It was literally torturing me ever since I weighed myself this morning.
I'm starting to go back to the plateau idea although I didn't want to believe it... I did some research on it and it's apparently really difficult to break through a "set weight" that you've had for a long time. Which for me has been years. Shit :(
I've only gotten really serious about restricting + eating healthier relatively recently, but I've had this messed up eating/weight/body image mindset for a lot longer than I thought. I found one of those "yahoo ask" questions that I made in h.s. where I was asking how I could lose more weight. Oh jeez >< And I thought I started getting insecure when I gained weight my freshman year of college (and reached my high weight EW) because I always thought I was way skinnier in h.s. Guess I didn't think so back then either. It's weird because I always look at my h.s. pics for motivation (my arms were sooo thin!).
I just have have to get through tonights dinner, tomorrow's breakfast/lunch and then I'll be BACK and free to do what I want. Oh wait, I forgot my roommate wanted to make some disgusting baked potato with cheese thing for me and my other roommate. AGH! Ok, best not to fight it (she called me anorexic again last night although I'm kind of obviously not) but I have to at least try to manipulate the situation so that she'll make it tomorrow night. That way I can further ensure that I will complete a perfect fast on Sunday.
Why am I so fat??
Posted by not.quite.ana at 4:03 PM