Thursday, December 16, 2010
Day 39
Tomorrow will mark 10 days to my birthday. I don't weigh anywhere near where I told myself I would but I can deal with that. Well, as long as my thighs don't touch ever again.
I'm not sure what exactly prompted this 'acceptance' of my body ('happy' is certainly not right and even 'content' is pushing it) but I'm relieved that I can eat something as simple as sushi without feeling overwhelming guilt and anger at myself.
My last week or two of posts have been detailing my binges, my attempt at making up for these binges, my plans, my self-doubt and my general insecurity about where I'm headed.
It's enough.
I need to stop worrying about the future and focus on the present, as cliche as that may sound. I don't know if I can do it but I'll try. After all, there are finals to study for, presents to buy and friends to meet.
And now I present Madonna :D
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"Die Another Day" - Madonna
I think I'll find another way
There's so much more to know
I guess I'll die another day
It's not my time to go
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Gaaaaah I know what you mean about the blogging cycle hereeee (binge, making up for a binge, planning for not binging, repeat). It's absolutely so rough. Just keep in mind that winter is working against us- just because we're not wearing clothes that can reveal alot of shape or "curve" per se does not mean that we can stop putting as much effort in. I know that I personally need to remember that as soon as the first warm day of spring hits, I'm going to want to basically 'molt' and shed the baggy heavy clothing to reveal a smaller me. Cheers to that! And cheers to getting back on track, we can do it :D
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Victoria
You can do anything. <3
ReplyDelete(sorry for sucking at commenting. I love you.)