Friday, December 10, 2010
Day 33
I fasted for 24 hours.
I weighed 101.0 lbs.
Then I had 300 calories.
I weighed 101.8 lbs.
I was so close to hyperventilating when I saw I magically gained almost an entire pound after eating only 300 calories spread out over 6 hours >_>
I'm currently 18 hours into a 36 hour fast and it is taking all of my energy not to check the scale more than once every 3 hours.
I currently weigh 100.8 lbs.
Eh. Stupid triple digit's.
I have the birthday dinner tomorrow but I looked up the menu online and it looks like I'm getting a salad without the cheese.
The scale keeps going up every time I eat something. I HATE that I had 300 calories. I ate because for some dumb reason I thought that I shouldn't be depriving myself, that eating just a little wasn't going to mess up my progress.
It did.
I shot up 0.8 lbs and ok, I know it was temporary weight but that didn't stop me from wanting to rip out my hair.
Make it stop. WHY CAN'T I STOP GAINING WEIGHT.
I can't believe I ate 300 effing calories.
Why would I do that to myself? I KNOW how much better a continuous fast is, 24 hours without eating isn't going to do anything. WHY did I eat WHY WHY WHY.
I've been in a pretty pissy mood - It probably doesn't help that my room (the living room) doesn't have a heater and the 5 blankets I've bundled myself in isn't keeping me from freezing my ass (or at least my fingers) off.
It's hard to even type this right now and I have goosebumps all over my body even though I'm as covered up as can be. I hate winter. I can't believe I used to wear shorts OUTSIDE without leggings or tights the past two years. I was so insane.
Ignore me - I sound like a whiny little brat but I'll feel better tomorrow (I think).
I'll push through, I'll get to the other side, I have to.
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All I'm worth is 100.8.
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PLEASE, girl. You inspire me. <3 Try not to be too hard on yourself for gaining that 0.8. I bet you're gonna lose that and more very shortly! Because I know how strong you are, and YOU know what you're capable of. A little over 16 days...I bet if you KEEP that strength and will power, that you will make it to 95 lb by then.
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Fasting like you have been will likely mess up your progress. It's most likely the reason for your weird "jumpy" numbers after you eat just the tiniest bit. I'd suggest finishing your next fast and then just restrict. The weight loss will be slower, but more likely to be "real" weight and stay off.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll make it to your goal in time!
You are worth so much more than 100.8
ReplyDeleteYou're pretty much amazing, and so inspirational.
Stay strong. <3
Psht, no! Think of how much progress you've made not just recently, but overall! It's amazing and inspiring to everyone. Weighing after eating (though I understand, it's totally tempting) is not a way to feel release. It's just asking for disappointment- it's food weight! Give your body time to digest and get rid of any extra fluid, you'll be a-okay :D
ReplyDeleteAmazing job fasting, that shows strength girlll!!!
xo
Victoria
It won't have been real weight, lovely, I promise you. And you are worth everything, much more than 100.8 xx
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