Friday, December 10, 2010
I fasted for 24 hours.
I weighed 101.0 lbs.
Then I had 300 calories.
I weighed 101.8 lbs.
I was so close to hyperventilating when I saw I magically gained almost an entire pound after eating only 300 calories spread out over 6 hours >_>
I'm currently 18 hours into a 36 hour fast and it is taking all of my energy not to check the scale more than once every 3 hours.
I currently weigh 100.8 lbs.
Eh. Stupid triple digit's.
I have the birthday dinner tomorrow but I looked up the menu online and it looks like I'm getting a salad without the cheese.
The scale keeps going up every time I eat something. I HATE that I had 300 calories. I ate because for some dumb reason I thought that I shouldn't be depriving myself, that eating just a little wasn't going to mess up my progress.
I shot up 0.8 lbs and ok, I know it was temporary weight but that didn't stop me from wanting to rip out my hair.
Make it stop. WHY CAN'T I STOP GAINING WEIGHT.
I can't believe I ate 300 effing calories.
Why would I do that to myself? I KNOW how much better a continuous fast is, 24 hours without eating isn't going to do anything. WHY did I eat WHY WHY WHY.
I've been in a pretty pissy mood - It probably doesn't help that my room (the living room) doesn't have a heater and the 5 blankets I've bundled myself in isn't keeping me from freezing my ass (or at least my fingers) off.
It's hard to even type this right now and I have goosebumps all over my body even though I'm as covered up as can be. I hate winter. I can't believe I used to wear shorts OUTSIDE without leggings or tights the past two years. I was so insane.
Ignore me - I sound like a whiny little brat but I'll feel better tomorrow (I think).
I'll push through, I'll get to the other side, I have to.
All I'm worth is 100.8.
Posted by not.quite.ana at 11:35 PM