Day 35

102.8 lbs.

16 days left.

Let's do some math:

To lose 1 lb there must be an approximate 3500 calorie deficit.

My BMR ranges around 1300.

I need to lose 8 lbs.

Therefore 3500 x 8 = 28000 total calorie deficit.

28000 / 16 = 1,750 calorie deficit per day.

This means that in addition to my BMR of 1300 I need to burn another 450 calories per day for 16 days in order to reach a total deficit of 28000.

Oh, btw this is only the case if I was water fasting for all 16 days.

It's impossible.

Feasible, but because I know how weak-willed I am, impossible.

Therefore I'm changing my birthday goal to 98.4 lbs instead.

3500 x 4.4 = 15400 total calorie deficit which means 15400 / 16 = 962.5 calorie deficit per day.

My BMR of 1300 - 962.5 = 337.5 calories I am allowed to eat maximum per day.

Of course I'll still be doing my calisthenics but the calories they burn are minimal so I won't be including them. When I go home I'll have access to DDR and the gym which I will use to burn the excess calories I will inevitably ingest.

Am I disappointed and upset that I'm raising my goal weight?

Very much so.

But I've realized that since Thanksgiving I've generally been ranging between 100-101 lbs. No major gain (upper 102's) and no large loss either (lower 99's is the farthest I've managed). Isn't this a true plateau?

I'm lowering the standard for myself. I only have to get 0.8 lbs below my lowest weight reached which isn't even a full 1 lb. There is no excuse for me not to attain it. I'm going back to meticulously counting.

I do not have any food-related engagements from now to my birthday (with the exception of Christmas) and I will not be making any. I will be a social hermit. I won't be able to avoid eating out with my family but I will burn off the calories matter how long it takes.

New plan + new goal = new me?

I tried on Size 24 jeans at Forever 21 which is the first time I've tried on any kind of pants since I went to True Religion so many weeks ago when I started this 50 day countdown.

They fit perfectly.

I know it's Forever 21 and I don't know how accurate their sizing is but it was the encouragement I needed.

Regardless of what I weigh on December 28th, I'm going to buy those True Religion Size 23 jeans. Weight is an indicator of how fat I am but these jeans are going to be an indicator of my thinness.

I've also realized that my blog name "not.quite.ana" is terrible. When I started this blog I had been trying to think up a name that would be original and memorable but now I know that it is an awful representation of myself.

I don't WANT to be known as being "not.quite.ana". I had meant it to be a warning to myself not to take things too far but I think that my use of the word "ana" can be construed as highly offensive to those who truly are suffering from the disorder known as Anorexia Nervosa. Not the cutesy, internet made nickname "ana".

I would appreciate it if anyone could help me brainstorm a new name. I have a couple in mind but I'm curious to see what everyone else's thoughts are on this.

Thank you :)